Camp tomorrow

How am I going to survive?

Camp tomorrow. Can't see you for about one and a half days, cant the camp be shifted to a weekday? TT

Really wanted to head down to dar's house but cannot, got to get ready for camp.
Think i'll bring my phone, then can sms with him in the night! If he even wants to.
Sat going down after camp breaks, I swear.

Have mixed feelings about dad being discharged, TT Three days of being alone at home is great.
Now my room is my sanctuary when hes home,

Bet I'll miss you when Im in camp.
I'll probably even miss you calling me idiot or even garfield.
How did the garfield part come in? Oh ya, i was damn sian, the momment he called me to eat, i stood up immediately. But its not my perma nickname,
I dont want!

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

#2 When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.

#3 When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.

#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.

#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.

#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.

#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.

#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.

#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

#13 When she’s scared, protect her.

#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

#17 When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

#25 Don’t let her have the last word.

#26 Don’t call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.

#29 When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.

#30 When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to
her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.

#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

#33 Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

#34 Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.

#35 Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.

#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

#37 Let her into your world.

#38 Let her wear your clothes.

#39 When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

#40 Let her know she’s important.

#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.

#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”

#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.

I dont expect you to do any of those, i just want to be important to you.
I just want you to miss me and think of me,
Just a fraction of your mind will do....

I'm sorry im so annoying,

Is there a place where I can cry, alone?

I have to find myself

I miss you, even if you're right here beside me.

Theres so many things I want to say...So many things I wish i can do with you now,
But I have to study first.

And one of the qualities that I loved so much in you, is helpfulness. And now, I still love it.
I trust you, I want to be behind you all the way.
Its either I take the impossible way, or the hard way. And I have made my choice, someday, you will know what is going on, and I don't expect you to say I'm noble or anything, thats why i don't want to tell anyone right now, it'll be a secret!

But thanks so much chris, I really appreciate it, all your advice, all your patience.
You're an awesome guy, but don't worry, in my eyes, feng is still the best XD

"You know what kind of girl I think you are? I think you are a very cheerful girl."
"One of the greatest gifts you have, is empathy."
Not to be praising myself, but I think he is right.
Even if empathy is my ONLY talent. I will never let it go.

I miss you dear, please come back soon.

Faling...just let me fall

I felt better when i wasn't studying so hard during N levels.
Its not like I don't like studying or anything, with careful thought, I enjoy studying for several reasons.

But now, even when I'm studying like, in school, at home. I'm feeling worse...and worse...
Thanks for calling this morning, I really appreciate it.
I know today is going to be a shitty day, but when i wake up, I saw that for once, my dog did not pee on my floor, i am not late. I can still use the comp, and feng called me...
Maybe I should kick away that mindset,

Listening in class...I should do more for math and not just certain subjects...
POA test next week...hopefully can get disposal accounts right before then,

I want the past, in the present

Its just so hard to express how much I love you,
I remembered you sent me a song, more then words. I know I should not use words. I should use more actions.
And I only remembered the song after so long...I finally figured a way to express how I feel.
By not calling you and irritating the hell out of you.

I just want you to have your freedom too. But on the other hand, im frightened that we might drift away. You sound so cold nowadays. I hope you'll understand that, its because I don't want you to be angry every time I have nothing to say, I know you need time with others too.

All the time I didn't call you, i was thinking about you half of the time. Maybe 3/4.
You get along with others so well, its only me, I know the problem lies with me. I'm sorry.
Reading your blog posts to keep myself occupied, only to find that others knew how to treasure you, I did not.
(I'm typing this blog post out because there no where else for me to convey my message to you.) And I don't expect you to pity me or anything. I just want you to know I'm just...trying to express how I feel in a less irritating way.

Maybe its due to the fact that i have been studying from 3am till 5 am and fall back asleep again that i have been so tired, the need to hear your voice was just pushing me on and on.
After studying for so long, the results I got was falling asleep at my table and not understanding anything in maths. i did well for chem though, bio was hopeless.(It really helps when i hear your voice in the morning,)

Please don't lose your patience with me,
I still love you, its a poor excuse for what im doing but its true.

Smiles :)

Went to iluma to play blazblue yesterday with feng, jere and phay, alwyn was there too.

Quite fun actually. Thanks dear for the fries and bubble tea, I thought i was supposed to pay.
sat 851 to bugis meet jere and alwyn. Blazblue abit ler then went to eat,

then went back and bb again. -.-"

But all in all, it was quite enjoyable.

Innocence

Waking up I see that everything is OK
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliant
Makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliance
Please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

Im so tired...
But I have to study later.

I just feel so tired these few days, even though I have been sleeping and all.
Maybe its just school,

Dear, sorry if I've been a pest, its just that I miss you a lot.
I will try to study more so i can keep myself more busy and will not bother you so much.
I seriously want us to last!

Go enjoy your show kay. I'll talk to you later.

Possibly going to burn midnight oil today, since I don't have a problem of waking up

Looks like I went mia for a long time, sorry! Internet was down.
Kayy, quick update. Had quite good food on sat and sun.
Saturday-Treated feng/taiga/feng feng taiga and jeremy to ajisen ramen,
Sunday- Went to eat steak at astons prime with the same two people.
finally had my macaroni and cheese.

No school tomorrow! All thanks to the awesome sec 4 and 5 batch of 09. I see already also stressed,

Think im heading down to see dar tomorrow. Miss him a lot.
In the meantime, having some intensive training to improve my bb and games along that line, hopefully it'll be successful.

Nothing much to say now, update next time.
Ps: Astons prime steak is really really good.

"You are here."

Just read that book today, Apparently it was so good, i couldnt stop reading it,

I can almost imagine her calling out, 'dear dear.'
And everything. I think I know how she felt when he screams at her..

I don't want him to be taken from me forcfully.
I promise I will treasure him,
...
Only that I know I say the stupidest of things sometimes.

In a sorrow space,
In my deepest dreams,
I remember, I remember seeing you
I remember your eyes
I remember your smile
I remember you

In a lonely night,
As I remember, I remember,
I remember hearing you
I remember your words
I remember your breath
I remember you

Chorus:
As I feel cold, I feel cold,
You give me your clothes; you give me your warm
As I feel hungry, I feel hunger
You give me your food; you feed me with life
As I feel down, I feel depressed
You give me hope; you feel me hope
You are here

In a sorrow space,
In my deepest dreams,
I remember, I remember seeing you
I remember your eyes
I remember your smile
I remember you

I love the lyrics, though its not really a song.
...
I love you,

Thank you dear

Was alseep soundly till 7.00 am this morn, and the best thing that woke me up was his call!

I guess he wanted to see if I'm awake. Yawns...

Better get something done by tonight. Tired to the max
Waiting for dar's call.
...
Will continue to attempt to finish my english compre and compo.

2010

The first day is nice enough,
First day of school was okay okay, except for the pile of holiday homework I have yet to complete.

So many things lined up for me in jan,
16 jan, parents-teacher meeting, I am so not looking forward to this.
Then I have camp at the end of jan. Argh. I hate camps.

Time to go finish my lot of homework.

SJ3 is mine

2009..the most eventful year of my life?

Its the second last year of my secondary school life,
And I actually met you,

To think I was trying to be someone I was not,
after thinking back, its just NOT worth it.

Dear, its about 9 months and still going?
I spent,
-120409, our first day together.
-120509, your birthday together.
-National day
-Christmas eve
-Christmas day
-New years eve
-New years day!
All together with you.

...

2010,
I will face this year with a positive attitude.
Gambatte!

BIRTHDAY WISH LIST!

That headphones(Its abit ex so people can share. I dont mind ^^)
That phone which im gonna get it soon, myself

Actually thats all i really want.
And please tell me what you all want alright?
I really cant read minds.

And so....
THE HEADPHONES SOUND SO GOOD. Omg.

But its 58 bucks. Its ok, you all can share. :D
Jere's xmas and birthday presents are about the same, just different colour.
^^

Christmas presents!

Should put my wishlist up!

A new school bag(I already know what I want)
A pencil case
MONEY(For my new comp)
VK manga(Volume 9, thanks iz!)
A plain black hoodie

Thats about it,
Things that I need.

My birthday list would be up soon! ^^

Thanks dar, for the awesome pencil case.

Thank god,
I passed.
Thanks everyone for asking,

Today,

Later on, 2.30 pm.

I would be getting my results.

Dont even know why im scared shitless.

Just hope I can pass.

So that my comp will stay with me

Visions

So many people are talking about what they want to do.
As for me, I have my career already planned out. But what if i don't do well?
5 more days, Im seriously freaked.

As for him, he doesnt know what he wants to do. But I'm fine with it.
Because whatever he does, he does it well. No matter whether its last minute or what.
And I know he'll excel, whereas I'm unsure for myself.
I want to go poly like all my friends, I mean, except for jeremy whos in jc(smart guy)

No use ranting, 5 more days.
If I fail, then its ITE.
I can't change anything now.

People have confidence in me,
But I dont have confidence for my results.

God help me

Crazy work shift

EPIC working yesterday.
The manager sucks, 3 of my school teachers were there, and we got there an hour late. :D

But all in all, had a good time serving drinks, having dinner afterwards and rushing for the bus.
Was determined not to get a lift home from her.
Talked to dar and phay and fell asleep.

Heading over to dar's house soon.
I love you. ><

I want it to last

Until the day you want us to stop,
I shall try to make you happy.
which I hope will not come soon.
Despite what you said.

Unable to get any sleep last night.

When destiny calls, you have to hold on.

I love my boyf to the max.
Although sometimes, I may not agree with what he does. I may get depressed over little things,
I still want to hold on.

Yesterday when you said,
"I cant decide."
"Lets meet tomorrow and talk k?"
"I love you."
I was really very happy but I didn't know whats going on,

When you called, I was really happy even though my stomach was hurting like hell.
And then I told you i'll be on your doorstep at 10am sharp, you said "okay".
I cant wait to see you,

When I was going to sleep,.
I typed on msn, See you later dar! 10 more hours.
You smiled.
When I said dont sad lar, I trust you already,
you smiled again.

And then what I had for supper was the subway cookies you gave me dont know how many weeks ago saying it might come in handy, you pro lar :D

Alrights, I shall go shower, dar, 40 more mins!

Ily

From the moment I met you I just knew you'd be mine
You touched my hand
And I knew that this was gonna be our time
I don't ever wanna lose this feeling
I don't wanna spend a moment apart

Chorus:
'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

Every day that I'm here with you
I know that it feels right
And I've just got to be near you every day and every night
And you know that we belong together
It just had to be you and me

Cos you bring out the best in me, like no one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

And you know that we belong together, It just had to be you and me

Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side
Cos you bring out the best in me, like no one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you
Cos you bring out the best in me, like no one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

ふでペン ～ボールペン～

You fucking self-centered bastard

AFA~

Rest well dear, you deserve the rest. And the saber lily, and the cup which is like small fry compared to your figurine TT
__________

Thanks to people who made it possible for this year's afa to be great!
Bought dear a saber cup. I think its pretty cute, and dear got his saber lily!
Went to bk for lunch, dear was telling me about all the different lamps and started chatting.
Went back to afa and so much so slacked there. :D

Headed down to plaza play lan, eat dinner watch iz and jere sango awhile,
Then headed home.
___

I am really happy, I hope next year's afa, we can all still go together,
and that nothing will change.
Except for a few things which i think its best not to mention here.

I'm not blind you know

In short of knowing that, should I pretend I don't know it?
Or do what I feel like doing?
____

I know its almost over, I just hope you'll remember me.

In the end, what am I?

In the end, I think I'm just your emotional dustbin

__

I really wish I can hold you and tell you everything is alright,
but I know that's not gonna work.
I can only watch as a bystander and share your hurt.
But thats not enough.
...
Its not

You're the worst, ever

Have you ever wondered why I never listen?
Its because you never actually bother about me. Ask yourself, you only think of me as a burden.
So why did you want me in the first place? I heard you wanted me very badly. Bullshit.

All you ever do, is yell at me, see me as a hopeless case, deem me as useless. Fuck you bitch, fuck you. Compare me to other people, you never see my good points, my good points that I have and others don't. Blah Blah, the neighbour next door can take time of to visit his dad in hospital.I went out looking for jobs today, NOT TO PLAY.

And about money, if I told you this week you gave me more then 50 bucks, you would scream. If I told you it was less then 50 bucks, you'd be fucking satisfied. You disgust me,
You wonder why do I always turn to my friends, its because you never bother to actually understand me.

__

Was planning to write more but whats the point?

Be my last romance

Tiring day out, =X

Don't feel like mentioning what happened,

Hmm, on a side note,
Dear ate subway today, haha, he damn cute

And then it was arcade arcade and more arcade. Hehe

7 months ler, and I still keep falling in love with you.
Haha, today was a great day again!

Sorry dar, I still owe you a drink! :D

And dinner was nice, crapping about proton sagas again.
Then went to iluma, kind of a nice place but I have some unsettling feeling about it.

Then lazed about the arcade and all.
Sat 80 home with dar,

A lot of crap to endure when I reach home,
but just have to tahan and remember Im getting my dearest black guitar tomorrow!

Hehe,

Had a great day yesterday!
Thanks dear for putting up with me when I was sian,
Really cannot go jp lar, sorry jere, sorry iz.
Was planning to go yuki yaki today but all like cant, so bo bian.

Cooked for dar yesterday. I think my portebellos are good, even if I say so myself. =P
Crashed abit at feng's house, played comp then headed down to plaza, ishi mura to eat.
Salmon tofu mentai don and ramen ftw!

Then went to pomo's arcade.
Played puzzle fighter, ccb, the fking joystick spoil, can move left cant move right
But managed to get up to stage 6 and then got owned my morrigon,
Bought bubble tea, went up to drink and then headed home.

Today, jere never answer phone, i think bi still sleeping...
Amos cant go out..

Finally its saturday,
had an eventful day today,
rather tired.
____

Audi-ed today. i love my 'boyfriend'! Shes so cute. ><
I got the audi-sickness le.
TT

Memories

Thinking back, dear really changed me,

Thanks for everything.
And for the tsuruya too.
And the blogskin.

And I finally got tsuruya out of the gacha, I kept thinking I'll get haruhi again. =X
Won the V-13,
:D
Dar challenged me in KoF and let me win, Went to yoshinoya to eat. We were actually deciding between
Bk and Yoshinoya, I wanted yoshinoya and dar wanted BK.
We play scissors paper stone to decide. =.=
Then walk around and talk crap.
Then randomly walk into action city and started playing with the mind teasers there,
Then home-ed cos of my bloody curfew.

Thanks dar, thanks jere,

I feel horrible..

After only 3 hours of sleep...

And I couldnt stop thinking about you,
Im really sorry..

____

Things are fine, now.
Audition-ing, tired like dog,

and yes, V-13, YOU SUCK.
you puny horrible and smelly spammer!
TT
But darn, if players use her well,
thats a totally different story

Last day of school today,
Wonder if Im ever seeing my class again.
=X

Audition sea!

Finally found someone to play audi wih me. :d
Beat rush ftw

I know, im an idiot

I hate myself...

...

Cant seem to do anything right.

Seriously

No matter what...

No matter where I go, whether I fail or pass, I'll be happy as long as I can continue learning the guitar, K-ON! motivated me a lot...

Thanks dar, for helping me hear whether I'm right or not. :D

Im sleeepy

yawn yawn yawn

Why does it matter whether she is his girlfriend or not?

Maybe you are more then just a good looking guy after all...

Hmm..but I never regretted letting you go.

Can anybody save me?

Im tired.

God damn tired.

Must things turn out this way?

5 cm per second

I'll probably get killed.



An unexplained ache rose up when i watched this again.
The first time? I sobbed like hell.
...
Wonder if someday, will we end up like this?

Im fully prepared. I know I will not pass.

Should I be comforted? Since this is the path that has appeared. I studied and I still can screw up.

Should I be anguished? Since I have let everyone down and failed to create my own path.

My views of a christian and my views of a free thinker, what am I?

I'm so fucking confused.

Sheesh.

I can almost think what people's response will be,

And of course, my boyfriend's one stands out the most. "I can't be bothered."

Ah wells. Whatever. People will say he doesn't care about me.

But I think his answer is the most comforting of all. Since he doesn't actually bother what do I believe in. Neither do I, for that matter.

And damn you maple , quickly patch.

Its hard to believe now, that I'm actually turning against my church.

I hate it, that my own mum can tell me my figurines are satanic.

...

I shall continue walking, maybe things are not as bad as I imagine.

More reading, I suppose. It helps

Thinking...

I had no idea why im still thinking so much,

It has been a long time.

When the time comes, which path will I take?

An angel's dream

"Angels only have one dream. "

"And what is that?"

"An angel's only dream is to be human."

-Angeal

Crisis core ftwww. :D

Saber lily

Saving up for dar's christmas present now.

Dar so cute, today gave me 2 bucks, keep poking my cheek. XD

After this post, I got to go studyyyy for maths. Omg, my table's a mountain of books.

thanks dar for putting up with my maths nonsense.

Hehe, jere, joseph and nic came over. Kept getting distracted but managed to finish what I wanted to do.

Went for dinner, chicken rice and chicken curry don, lotsa chicken...=.=

Then dar, jere and joseph acompanied me to bus stop.

Hehe, must jy for maths tmr.

I love you koori! thanks for today. :D

Of all things I could check, I went yahoo answers. Stupid me. Hehe

Had a great day, :D

Burger king's mushroom swiss tendergrill is awesome. So is oyaku chicken don. XD

And I bought tsuraya figurine for him, out of the gachapon. Really hope he liked it!

and I want stitch coupleeee~

But must save money for AFA.

Dear on his way to malaysia now, must study today.

N levels start tomorrow ler. Its the final lap now.

Ganbatte yuki~

Giddiness

Went subway study yesterday after school with gaye and steph.

Laughed like mad. Studied.

Went dinner with mum, fainted in the toilet while bathing.

Talked to dear for awhile.

Went to sleep.

Maybe its due to N levels being so near and then thinking of the road that I took, I never regretted anything. Except maybe one thing, WHY DIDN'T I START STUDYING SOONER?

But its okayy, I knew I put in my best effort the last month.

And maybe its cause I knew that he had been the one encouraging me all the way and of everything that happened, I treasure him more now. I'm sorry dear, I'm sorry I took you for granted.

N levels are on monday. I got to go study now.

Lakeside buffet,

And just a random thought, I think he's right about saying how no one can understand the weird way I talk.

yuki: Tomorrow want to go amk park there light candle?

koori: For?

yuki: Mooncake festival.

koori: huh? Tsk, its mid-atumn festival is it?

yuki: Ya ya, mooncake festival.

koori: what mooncake festival. its mid atumn festival lah! Oh my god.

yuki: whatever lah. hehe

I think hes damn shit right.

I tried to breathe,

I could no longer locate my lungs.

I could not control my body anymore.

If the bill is terminated, I will pay and will not get you blacklisted.

But,

If our relationship ends like that, no amounts of money is going to bring you back..

Please don't leave.

Its been so long, I still want to keep going.

OMGG. Dear, stop sleeping. Wake wake wake up and talk to me. :D

So tired after school today. But still got to study later.,

Im gonna be missing from the world.

See you on 13 oct. :D

"If I give you an F1 ticket, will you accept it?"

"No. If you give me a ticket to go to the backstage to see the cars, then yeah."
"Thats true, if someone gives me an F1 ticket, I'll sell it."

"Thats right." And he smiled that damn cute smile.

Today was funnn. Went to his house and then he did some songs, after that trained down to city hall to Jaben.

Sent in his earpiece, then went to funan eat fries with mayo...

Then went home.

He smiled so much today! Its so addictive~

Productivity

I did a math paper in school today. And still enjoyed myself.

Had lunch, going to shower and studyyy!

Just press on, one more month!

I'm touched

Omg, I scolded dear for staying up late when he was researching for me. Sorry dear. TT

Yesterday, got caught in the rain while going to dear's house. Clothes all soaked to the max.

He made me take a shower and I wore his clothes, Super over-sized. Especially the shirt, I looked like some..hip hop person. Haha,

Went down to suntec at about 3 plus. My earpiece officially broke down, *grieving for my earpiece*

Went to games convention. Fun.

Then walked to plaza and ate just acia. Haha, Then no lifed at the arcade. After I get my earpiece, I promise myself I will study. :D

Can't wait for dear to wake up.

<3

Err, someone told me to post my pics.

So here goes, sorry dar. Dont kill me XD

What if?

Last night, I couldn't sleep, sms-ed dar.

"Well, good night. If I cant sleep by 12, Im gonna jump out of my window."

I guess this is the price to pay for eating too much sweets. :D

Heading down to dar's house in another 2 hours(seems so long TT)

I just gaved in to temptation.

AND OH OH OH, I was damn productive yesterday.

Yay, so happy and proud of myself. :D

Will study later in the night.

Anyone got any plans for tomorrow?

futari de zutto odoru yakusoku
fukuramu mune ga uso ni suru
amairo no kami　kagami utsushite
junban tagai ni suite iku

onaji beddo yurareteta
futari fureau　te to te musundeta ito

mishiranu kao utsuru
sasayaku koe hikuku
nigiru HANMAA tataki tsukeru no
tobichire GARASUTO

futari de tsunda shiro
tsumi kisaikou kusushite
kishimu hone　kishi to hime he to
kane ga tsugeru ENDO

yugamu kagami　te to te awase　zureru yubi no nagasa

kore kara chigau beddo de neru no?
kimi ga tsubuyaku [oyasumi]
doa no bumawashi tobira wo akeru
oto ni hane okitsukamu suso he

nobita yubi ni kuchidukete
hashiru shoudou　sebone nukete iku setsuna

akari ha kesanai de
hitori de neru yoru ha
mada iya to sakenda migi te de
butsukeru no makura

[obake ga kowai] nante kodomo dane boku no hime
nureta hitomi　chigau kotoba
iitage ni　mitsumeru

papa to mama no shiranai jikan ha
owaru no kana?　tooi yume
usui taoru koshi todoku netsu ga
kowasu boku no tomegane

koe wo oshi koroshite
tobira ha kagishimete
mitsumeau hitomi to hitomi ga
kotae wo sagasu

osanai iiwake wo akari goto keshite iku
sono kami wo sukue nai nara
boku ha uso mo tsuku yo

toki wo tomete ima ha
futari de dakiatte
kizamu kodou hitotsu hitotsu wo
SHINKURO sasetai

toketeku atsui iki
dakitometa nukumori ni
kore ijou ha ugokenai yo
maru de kimi no NAITO

Im thankful that you're still here

Horrible afternoon, it was hell, I swear.

Im sorry dar,

____

Wanted to go to school today but my body is saying no, had a headache and fell back asleep. Woke up around 8 plus. Oh wells. Uh..

I want to get dar a tripod NOW, but my wallet is saying no. Not yet anyway.

Alrights, breakfast and then study.

Yuki shall be a very productive girl today.

I love you, cant wait for sat!

Im missing you until it hurts

My head hurts,

My heart hurts even more.

IM fustrated, I don't know what to do for you anymore.

Had a okayy day in school.
tiring though.

The teachers already gave us homework.
This is new in NA,

...

Better go start on it.

(Dar, sorry for calling you so many times.
Dont angry horr)

JP, Issac, Feng, Jere, sango and daytona

In the end, didnt go to IT fair, went jp instead.

Sango-ed one round and lost,
AND I LOSE. =)

Tore up the card, no use anyway.
Jere kenna sr wang yi, grats man. Shared card protecters card price with him.

Then played daytona with jere's brother, feng, jere and issac. I got 2nd!
Though its cos they were playing burnout style, =.= dar got first! XD
I think jere's brother got 3rd.

Then mrt home.

Went for breakfast just now.
Talked about new house and all, yay. Mum agrees to $1500 for new comp.
Its already 6, dear, wake up lehhs. :(

Was very unproductive today. :D

Will be tomorrow

Plan for today

Shower!
Bus down to dar's house
Kick him out of bed
Get him to shower(I wonder how Im gonna manage this ALONE)
Train-ed down to suntec
IT fair
Try not to let dar buy anything(I think I can manage this with mao's help)
WereCat says:
i will pounce on him
every time
WereCat says:
he so much for
reaches for his wallet
=P
MAO FTW!

And then sango,
THANKS JERE AGAIN FOR LU MENG ADVISOR!
<3

<3

I will not forget what dar told me today. :D

And by the way, I don't have your number anymore cos I think its not worth keeping, if you think the same way and has deleted my number, good for you. :)

Holidays going to over soon. Very soon, have to hit the books.

Thanks feng for selling me your speakers. And sound card, come over soon and fix it up. :D

Tomorrow meeting jere and others(hopefully?), and no more working ler, means no bunking at Ichak's house :(

I guess I should get back to playing Zelda, I want to complete it. :D

Later,
Yuki

I hope you still love me

Mou ikiba ga nai wa kono koi no netsuryou

Haiiro no kumo monokuro no kensou
Hizashi wa kageri

Yuugure wa iro o kaete iku

Aa sekai ga nijinde
Sore de mo suki de irareru ka nante

Wakatteru kedo dou sureba ii no
Dou shitara dou sureba

Baka da na watashi…

Hajimeru no yo kore wa sensou
Ureshisou na kimi o miru nante
Setsunaru koi sore wa tsumi
Misete ageru watashi no omoi o

Sakende mita megahon wa kowareteta no

Dore dake senobishitatte
Kimi no shikai ni hairanai

Aa itsu no ma ni ka hareta sora
Zenzen niawanai

Kimochi ga osaerarenakute
Doushitara dou sureba

Naite nanka nain da kara ne
Daisuki

Tatakau no yo haato o ute
Shudan nante eranderarenai
Sukaato hirari misetsukeru no yo
Kimi no shisen ubatte miseru no

Geigeki youi
Senkyou wa ima da furi na no desu

Koi wa moumoku
Kimi no kuchizuke de me ga sameru no!

_____

On a side note, I think gravitation is the sweetest yaoi I ever watched.
Yuki Eiri <3 And Sakuma Ryuichi!
I think I can faint

Thanks dar, for accompanying me down to the chalet.

Its technically sunday now...cant wait for later.
And must start studying on mon! Must must must.

On friday, dar damnn cute. We were at yishun before dinner. Then we were strolling in popular.
So I stopped to see what TYS I don't have. And he started to pull me away. He said, this 4 days are for me to take a break. No seeing those. =)!
So sweet, had a nice dinner and afterwards went to play TC2 at new arcade. My fking gun was screwed. Shoot 3 times not responding. Got so pissed.
852-ed and 45-ed home.

Today, well, yesterday, I woke up at an unholy time, 7.30 am.
Went to dear's house, then down to chalet at pasir ris. They all went uber high, =X
58-ed and walked home. =)

Today, cant wait! Sure to have lots of fun, before I start studying again.
N levels, are less then 2 weeks

Sian-ed

Went to watch where got ghost yesterday with feng and amos.
Not bad.
After the movie, amos was like, "Where are we going to eat?"
My reply, "Where else?" Where else besides the epic win jap food at s-11? :P
Went to play TC4 awhile, before heading home.

Finally, a normal nice outing, besides slacking our asses off at feng's place. XD

Next sun, whos up for a L4D session?

Lay in bed yesterday after choir foa.

I really know now, how small and useless I really am in school, outside school..

I never really tried, I never really am.

Nothing scared me more

Watching the fireworks was the best with you by my side.

Fever,

I did the most stupid thing yesterday. :D

I had fever, I did not see the doctor. Thats 1.
And I still went to my friend's birthday party. Thats 2.
And I went home late at night.

But the party was still great. Even though I was sleeping half of the time. TT
I met...I met..I can't remember all of them.

:D

Thanks everyone, especially ice.

I'll close my eyes. And count to 20.
When I open them, I'll be back to last time.
When I first met you.

There'll be no depression,
No family problems.
Maybe money problems once in a while.
All my scars will magically disappear.

I'll just be a normal girl studying to pass my prelims and N levels.
with a very good boyfriend whos helping her.

Starting....



NOW

I knew it would come to this.
I knew it.

I'm sorry.

Chem is easy :)

Chem is love.
I know I can get the hang of it and I know I did.

Now its just SS, and I should start on bio soon.
I can do it, Yuki, gambatte!

Going out this weekend, so lets study so that i can enjoy myself without guilt.
:D

I love you ice, love you love you love you. <3

I LOVE STUDYING.

And so that makes me a freak! :D

Can't believe I actually understand plate tectonics, and made notes for POA. And did chem tys and tried to understand it during break.

Can't believe I actually can help explain things to friends during maths.

Its a whole new me! Poly, here I come! <3

Hmm..for a change, dear called me after I finish school, my mood rocketed from good to super good.

Good enough to make me study after I finish this blog post.

Right, im almost done. Just waiting for his call.

Waiting...waiting...

Im fine im fine im fine.

Yeah right.

Did wan feng's post have anything to do with what happened the past 2 days?

...

Im sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to snap on purpose.

Maybe we should stop talking so much, I need to concentrate on N levels.

On thurs and fri, did I really realise how alone I was and still am. I got friends all around but even in a crowd, I still feel lonely. Even with my impossibly good boyfriend, im still lonely. Im impossibly idiotic. Maybe thats why he said he hates girls. Im so sorry.

I cant believe i practically mapled my time away. But still studying at the same time.

I need to study more.

Zoe zoe zoe, STUDY, my god.

I need an anti stress kit.

Someone give me one?

Confused, stumbling, im lost

Time to revive my blog.

...

...

attempting to revive it.
I guess im not really in the mood.

Sighs...

Geog lesson

Riiight, its geog. :(

Thank dar, for calling this morn. Cant wait for tomorrow too :D
And I think thurs and fri is gonna suck.
I must reach level 60 by this week! Must reach third job by next month =X
Last remnant owns :D
Yay! I have my hino fan, but I still dont have my white seraphis :(

I better get off, before she comes.

DAR, STOPP BEING LAZY AND WAKE UP.

I love you <3

School was alright today. It is alright every single day. XD

Mummy got tickets for harry potter this thurs! Going to watch with dar. :D

I think it will be a good show.

Dar is still sleeping. wake up wake up and maple with me.

:D, Love you,

Yay, im one step closer to my dream.

Thanks wan feng, for an awesome breakfast and the fixing of my comp yesterday.

Met Amos at city hall and went bras basah complex to buy his art stuff,

I got absorped in the bookshop there.

After that, went to multiple guitar shops.

Saw one awesome black acoustic guitar, and it cost 90 bucks! Love at first sight man.

Went to bugis, walked around, shopped. Eat.

Arcade, saw joasseph, nic and jere.

Raining heavily when we made our way to the bus stop to wait for 80.

Slept on the bus.

Mapled until 2. Finally level 58! ^^

Hoping to be 59 by tuesday and 60 by the end of this week.

Maple work, maple work. School, maple. Work. School. Maple. work. study, pack my room.

Same old routine,

But I shall carry on,

I shan't give up.

For those who believed in me, thank you.

I love you guys.

I merely asked a question

You don't have to answer in that manner.

I merely was curious/wanted to hear your voice/wanted to strike up a conversation.

I suppose, its your game.

Im sorry then, maybe...I just did not/cannot understand you well enough.

I won't say that the game is bad, cos it isnt.

I don't want to find someone to blame cos it really isn't anyone's fault.

Maybe, don't catch me when I fall. Let the pain numb me.

Really, you can shout all you want. If it makes you happy.

Just go ahead.

Maybe this is the wrong way of showing,

but I do love you.

Alot...

Im sorry, Im a failure.

Pineapples? PEACHES

PEACHES! =)

Sometimes, simple dishes are the best.

Pasar malam's taiwan sausage or also known as tai wan xiang chang. Muah chee, cheese tofu, shrimp ball, cheese hot dog. Cotton candy, takopachi, okonomiyaki and instant noodles!

This simple food, taste good.

When you share. :D

Its such a strange feeling, or the fact that Im totally stranger to it. Trying to imagine him in secondary school, when he still liked her.

If only I knew. Its not jealousy, its not....I just feel weird.

Maybe I should stop reading. TT

I feel like I'm gonna fall flat on my face any momment. Im just so tired.

English, POA, geog, chem, bio, chinese, lit and ss.

Did I leave out anything,

Im sure I did.

Wait, I didn't.

Forget it.

I had a wonderful break yesterday and today.

I have to face school the coming tuesday.

just great

I saw a puddle of water on my room's smooth wooden floor. That puddle...my tears.

Stop murdering my one and only motivation to study.

Stop drowning me in stress.

Stop..please stop. Im dying, can't you see it?

Prelims are in 23 days.

...

Im so gonna fail

Its just simply strange.

He said, he was talking to her...

That got me going to his blog posts...reading about how much he suffered last time.

He also told me this before, :" Correct what, I like older girls. They're more mature. Even if I were to fall for a younger girl, she must be daaaaamn mature."

Um...um...um...im not.

It seems like im only getting in your way.

TT

Useless, cant seem to do anything right.

I cant even understand you.

So into your arms of comfort, I ran.

2 days of school, proved horrible.

____

Heard about drag me to hell from classmates, all sounded quite fun. Lets organise a group get-together, and lets watch it. :D Jere, Wan feng, Alwyn, Amos, Joseph, Nic, and shaun? They're all boys...-.- Unfortunately, the only girl that I got to know in 2 years hates me. And not for anything I meant or not..to do. (Its really not on purpose/my fault)

I havent been studying much, only listening in class. Copying random notes, getting ready for prelims. However, it has been maple ever since I came back from school.

Im level 53 now, Im not satisfied, well. Of course. Im not really surprised. Wan feng is talking on the phone now, speaking of which, from his conversation he is so conviniently letting me hear, He is not coming on maple anytime soon, well, there goes my ringer. On a random note, im really starting to grow on last remnant.

Well, I believe putting the phone on hold and rushing off for a quick shower won't make any differences, so here goes.

Later, maybe tomorrow, maybe never,

Yuki

Tears are becoming more uncontrollable now.

Whenever I think about school re opening, I am scared.

I don't want to study study study, and then fail,

When I study, I also don't know where to start. What to study, or whether im studying the correct thing.

Teachers say that only 10% of us will make it through N levels.

Mum said I must pass or everyone will start blaming her.

I don't know what to do.

Im lost...

Happy 85th post. Have I been blogging that much?

When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?

Or rather in this case, dreaming.

Why am I not surprised?

So many things happened. So tired.

Thanks jere and feng for yesterday. Thanks for staying with me in the 107M.

L4D yet again, and horribly failed this time. Really dont know what happened to me. Kenna boomer vomit, jumped out of the window by myself. And kenna die.

Feng also died. Smokered and died.

I think jere survived only.

Went to suntec after ishi mura, played arcade until 10.30. Reached home around 11 plus.

Bathed, talked to feng until 1 plus. Then woke up around 8.30. And...studied a bit, Sleep. Mapled.

I think tmr going feng's house. With jere and amos.

I can't talk...I don't know what to say.

Dear, maybe only him...can make you laugh this way, its probably something I'll never be able to do. Sorry, Im useless.

Maybe I'm just..really not your type.

Spent the whole of last night talking about how stupid maple story 2 is.

While playing it. =X

...

I have to study.

I really really do.

One more post before I really have to shower.

Dear is in malaysia today. Decided not to anti myself with maple. Going out later, to play lan with jere and shaun. :D

Awesome dinner at ishi mura(yishun) yesterday, Walked around with dear. In the end, took away rice home too. Mapled, went to sleep. Woke up at 7 plus, talked to dear until no connection. Went back to sleep and woke up around 10.

I want ishi mura today too. =X

My forgiving boyfriend

Thanks for today. Yummy lunch, well. Nice lunch at the bubble tea shop consisting of cup noodles, fries and passionfruit green tea followed by peppermint milk tea. Nice nap followed by yummy dinner at ishi mura. Dessert at ice monster, mango shaved ice. =D Dinner was awesome, talking with chris lee and his friend...xiang an is it? o.0

Oyaku chicken don and ramen is love. :D

Two months already. Each day being with you will be the greatest day of my life.

I love you.

Thanks for being understanding, forgiving, thrifty(yes, I do embrace this side of you once in a while). Always considering my welfare, letting me have my way sometimes, knowing when Im hungry(i'm still touched by this cos not many people would bother) And the list goes on.

But dear dear dear, can we eat at Ishi mura today? XD

This is where our journey ends

Now that you have them, its time for me to go.

It just can't carry on, what happened today was simply the most insulting thing I could recieve...from you. And ironically, I expected the most from you. Besides my boyfriend at least.

Sighs. I should learn to understand you. But I never did, and you assumed I never tried.

Or at least, to be evil. I didn't bother to actually try. I should have listened, but I really trusted you. More then I understood you anyway.

What you asked me to do and what we did, was the biggest insult to our friendship.
I REALLY should have listened

Deleted

-deleted-

I don't know what came over me yesterday. Maybe it was stress, I don't know. I hate myself. 

Hopefully, tomorrow will have a promising buffet trip. 

Later,

I'll love him till I die

Yesterday was damn fun! 

Woke dear at 5.30. Long story but in the end, he was working at 7pm. He went home, we mapled/do stuff for mum. Supposed to go jere's house at 9 but in the end, went around 12. (Dear went to sleep)

Joseph and jere were there. They were playing GE. Then slacked, and went to eat lunch. Imba fish and chips. ^^

Issac came next. I called Dear and we all yelled for him to come down. Fever, high ler. 

Which in the end, he did. 

We used jere's bedroom for awhile. Before Amos called, dear went to play CS. While amos is on his way down, I fell alseep while hearing joseph's piano playing, River flows in you ftw!

Went down to fetch amos, slack a bit before going off to wt. 

Food was awesome. We played chess before bringing them to the bus stop. Amos and Issac left first. Damn interesting to see dear work. ^^

A good end to a great day. Dear ended work, called around 9 ot 10.30? Cant remember. Went home, mapled. And talked until 3. 

Meeting him at 11, will he be able to wake up?

I believe today would be another great day. Maybe lanning? 

Even if maple is a senseless game, mapling with you is really very fun. 

You said something, "I okayy der. Most important is you." 

My heart really just skipped a beat. Of course I want to see you tomorrow, but work hard alright?

Not like you'll be seeing this...have a good rest.

Level till 22 today. 12 levels in one day. ^^ All thanks to dear who trained me, bought me equip and all. 

Hm. Im going off to sleep.

Face book quiz.

What are you really afraid of?

You tend to laugh and joke around when you are with everyone, but you feel lonely and empty when are all alone. you cry alone when you have stress and problems. you often have many problems that are bugging you, but you never show them out on your face. you are not as cheerful as they thought, but you just don't wish to spoilt the mood of everyone, hence you hide your emotions inside. you are just a weak human with feelings afterall

Maybe its really true. Shrugs. 

I'm not really acting cheerful..but. Still...

"Cardinal Baggia," the killer hissed, "have you prayed yet?"

The Italian's eyes were fearless, "Only for your soul."

Okay, I memorised that entire part of angels and demons. And in my opinion, that is the best part of the book.

I'm still waiting for a number of things.

Da vinci code. 

Maple server check to end, so I can get my 1000 maple leaves and get my maple earrings

And I need to rehunt alot of other stuff, Oh god.

Hopefully, can go out tomorrow. And damn sick of intensive lessons, when it havent even started. 

How will I survive?

Went back to mapling. ^^

Not planning to get addicted. But just playing for the fun of it. 

I am reminded of all the nice people I met in maple. It really did change my life