Thoughts.

I guess I have always been soft-hearted. Not praising myself. It's more of a weakness and a hindrance.

Recently, I have became a soft hearted person that developed an interest for football. It's the world cup season after all.

Have always been a Germany supporter. I have really never forgot how Germany lost to Brazil 12 years ago.

And now they have gotten their revenge. Germany 7 - 1 Brazil.

I remember waking up at 6.20 and running to check the score when dad told me loudly, "No need to check. I tell you. 7-1!!!"

I was happy. I was elated. Finally Germany can fight in the finals without pesky Brazil ruining their chances. The happiness lasted only a day though.

After watching the penalty shoot-outs for Argentina vs Netherlands, I was happy yet again that Argentina has won. The world cup is as good as Germany's.

Until I was on the way to work and I saw this

It literally broke my heart. It made me wish I could take my happiness back and give it up to him. 

My nose instantly became hot and prickly. 

But I couldn't tear my eyes off him.

I thank god that Brazil has a fan like him. He's currently known as Brazil's saddest fan. 

I didn't get to watch the match because dad did not wake me up. 

Of course this story has a happy ending. 

He was seen sharing his replica trophy with the Germany fans. 

I pray that he can see the next World Cup. And as much of a supporter of Germany as I am, I can't say I hope Brazil will win.

But heck. I'm going to say it anyway.

I hope Brazil is going to win in 2018.

Anyway. Excuse me for a fan girl moment. 

Messi! <3 argentina.="" nbsp="" p="">

Neymar! <3 about="" be="" better="" brazil.="" brazil="" can="" defeat.="" do="" gets="" he="" hope="" i="" imagine="" must="" nbsp="" p="" s="" soon.="" t="" thinking="" what="">

And of course. Germany's hunk. 

He gets two because of how well Germany played.

They played well. After watching the match, you could actually say.

"It's like Brazilians forgot how to play football."

And how badly the fans cried. 

-Sigh-

Now let's hope Argentina don't lose too badly. I can't bear to see Messi or Muller crying.

19/06/2014 - Thursday

"We live in cities, you'll never see on screen. Not very pretty but we sure know how to run free. Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams. And you know we're on each other's team."

-Team, (Lorde)

Haven't been blogging. I forgot the vow to keep updating.

Dear has been so guai lately. Helping out and suffering with me during my diet. I think the most torturing part is hearing me say at 3pm, "I wanna eat ice cream."

-five minutes later-

"I want to eat braised pork belly with rice and salted vegetables."

-ten odd minutes later-

"I'm craving for campbell's soup."

It's not easy for him to cut down on fast food as he is one that eats it on a regular basis. But he did it anyway.

-Feeling fortunate-

Because of that, I finally have the motivation to cut down on fried food and plan my meals everyday. And no more snacking!

----------------------------------------------------------

GPA 3.2!

Maybe it isn't that high. But I improved!

2D Design - A

Creative Studio - B

History of Design and Media - A

Figure Drawing - C ( I was so prepared for this C)

Images Motion and Narration - A (Thanks Andrew!)

Language Arts - C

Conclusion: Last minute work would give a C without fail.

Group work gives me A.

I want to work harder next time. I want to maintain my grades. Because its the first time my mum can proudly tell her friends that I did well in school.

Its the first time I feel like I have something to work for.

---------------------------------------------------------

I miss school.

I miss smoked duck egg mayo wrap.

I miss salmon teishoku.

I miss meiji yoghurt during breaks,

I miss chicken broth noodles.


But i dont miss the canteen food. Thats how much I dislike it.

What I missed was all food.


Horrible

-----------------------------------------------------------

Thanks taiga for the blogskin. I don't think its anyone else.

The one that you love most is the one that can hurt you the most

Bleh

Saturday - 29/03/2014

"You're all I see in these places, you're all I see in all these faces, so let's pretend we're running out of time, of time."

-Neon Lights (Demi Lovato) 

Which happens to be the song I'm listening to now.

Went to Sakae Sushi with dear today for sushi buffet. Even if we didn't eat much, I really enjoyed just chatting with him over good food. 

After lunch, we took a walk to esplanade mrt to train down to The Cathay. Wanted to go Leftfoot and we have a movie there at 3pm. (Captain America)

We collected our tickets first. They had some cosplay event there. Suffered some slight burns to my eyes. 

Went Leftfoot. Couldn't resist those polka dotted doc martens boots. $209. Whats wrong with me..

Went for movie afterwards. And then dinner. KFC's bandito pocket. 

Went to add more earrings to my collection. Which is never growing cos i'm always losing them.

Damn stressed, assignment week. Better go get some work done tonight. 

...

Cant wait for holidays

You are the pain I won't give up on

I thought about you today.

I think about you everyday.

I won't give up on you. So don't give up on me.


Don't give up on us.

Update

Things to give thanks for:

Exercise 2 is finally over! Although it is not as nice as some other's, I really have no regrets as I think I have improved and I really did work hard for this piece of work. Thanks baby for helping me too.

Images motion and narration, although did not go that well as I have expected, a whole new world of photoshop is open to me. At least now I know how to black and white, cut and paste and blur. That itself is already a stepping stone for me. Let's give it my all for exercise 3.

My classmates. I realised we have really opened up to one another. Even now we can laugh and joke together every lesson. It makes everyday enjoyable. And I believe we can learn from each other's art.
Although I have said I do not want to get too attached to this class, I guess, I did after all. And especially Lydia and Adele. Without them, I would have flunked one of my modules. Thanks guys.

Uncle Robbie's cell group. Although I am not too familiar with them yet, I do feel god put me there for a reason. And they are really nice and friendly. Even for someone as socially awkward as me.

Baby. He has really been so understanding to me. Especially since I was dejected after my presentation did not go well, he kept on trying in his own special way to cheer me up. Telling me I can do better next time. No matter how hard my schoolwork is, he will always give me new ideas and tips on how I can improve my design. And for hearing me out whenever I call you.
Baby, let's improve our art together ok? <3 p="">


Slowly taking one step at the time, little by little.


We are still learning aren't we? :)

Sunday - 02/03/2014

It was a normal Sunday, woke up for church.

Had kuay teow shared with mum for breakfast. Took the bus to church.

Went to church and did nothing much. I didn't fall asleep. Personal achievement unlocked.

Been so sleepy since assesment week started. Left early as I was meeting Baby at dhoby ghaut.


Felt really happy that I can see him again and spend the whole day together.

I reached earlier then him by about 3 mins. He came wearing the black monster hunter shirt and white berms. And usual fred perry grey shoes.

We went to BK for lunch. Had to wait quite abit as it was 11.50. Lunch starts at 12. It wasn't a very long wait and we had our food soon enough. No, bk does not serve mayo anymore. :(

He was quiet while waiting for the food again, Makes me uneasy somewhat. But he was ok after lunch.

We went to habourfront after lunch. Had to go sentosa to take photos.

There was a lot of people! So crowded ><

When we reached, we went to candy empire to buy something for sw for helping us with our content. However, we didn't buy anything.

Went to Tangs to have a look. They had doc martens and fred perry stuff there. Worth a longer look next time. Then we went up to the sentosa train.

THERE WAS SO MANY PEOPLE. THE QUEUE WAS JUST NUTS.So many maids. Wtf.


Stood there for awhile before deciding to switch locations to chinese gardens.

Train-ed to Buona Vista then change to Chinese Garden.

We bought a bottle of seasons peach tea, cadbury oreo chocolate and potato chips at cheers before heading there, It was crowded but not that bad.

Spent about 45 mins getting roasted and taking photos. Satisfied with the outcome!

Train-ed to serangoon.

Had a delicious dinner. Teppanyaki! Baby had spicy pork and I had mushrooms. Omg the lady could really cook. The food was so yummy!

Went up to roof top and rested abit before heading home.



I really wanna thank baby for helping me with this project!

And for putting up with me when I'm stressed and spacing out and complaining of the heat despite it being my project. Ily baby.

01/03/2014 - Saturday

Woke up at 8am. Supposed to be 7.15am but slept too late last night to get up so early.

Bathed. Tried to hurry up. Had to be at the hospital by 9.30 latest. (Dad was hospitalised)

Stared at the mirror. What the fuck was with the rings under my eyes. I had been getting enough sleep plus ALL of my assignments were not even half completed.

Stepped out of the shower at 8.20. Was drying hair and packing bag when suddenly dad called.

He called to say he could be discharged today so I did not need to make the trip down.

Great. It was 8.45am and I planned to meet baby at 11am. At Jurong East. Even so, it was too early.

Made mushroom mee for breakfast. Headed down and was early even.

----

Baby came. Went to buy Drink tea before going to ticket office to make my long awaited ez link card.

Yam Milk Tea with rose scented pearls. Nothing much to rave about. I prefer Koi.

Queued for about 20 mins before it got to my turn. Baby was quiet. Not unusual but it was an uncomfortable silence. With a nod or so to my inconsistent chattering.

Planning our plans for the day. He was hungry. So a meal was next after my ez link card.

Percy is sick, he said it could be appendicitis. He perked up at that and asked if he could meet today or not. Well, he said he could.

Then it would be strictly pancakes for dinner. I needed my fix of pancakes anyway.

Two more people in front of me. I asked baby what did he want to eat later.

"Anything." The usual answer.

"4 fingers."

"Ok lor."

I didn't even know if the new outlet was opened or haven't started business yet.
We could always take a look. I wanted to see where was the Pandora shop anyway.

Yes. Pandora. When will my orders get here? I can't wait.

Finally it was my turn. Paid a whooping 63 dollars for my concession and card and top up fee.

April faster come so it means 25 dollars for concession and holidays.

Percy said meet 3 plus. Ok. It gives us time for a movie in between.

Got my ez link card. Fuck yeah.

----------------------------

Walked over to west gate. Baby was finally responding with sentences.

Pandora! It was just next to the entrance. Not too crowded so we made a round of the shop. That took less then a minute.

4 fingers was not opened yet. What the hell.......I haven't even tried it once!

Settled for macs. We kinda got lost in between the two buildings.

11.30am. It was still breakfast.

Bought big breakfast for baby and hotcakes for myself.
He took one look at my food and said, "I thought later eating pancakes already?"

"One can never have too much pancakes." I replied but in my mind I was actually thinking. "Oh shit."


After brunch, we decided to head over to plaza to watch Make Me Shudder at 1.45pm. Which fits in the empty time slot nicely till we were supposed to meet Percy.

Baby was actually joking during the train ride. It was enjoyable. It has been a long time since I saw him so happy.

Went to raffles place to change train. Reached Plaza at 12.50.

We went to gv to buy tickets. We had second row from the back. Means not much people are watching the show. Maybe it was still early.

Since after buying the tickets, it was only 1, we decided to go buy baby's pimple cream.
He has been poking at the red spot under his nose and looking unhappy about it.

Went to guardian and bought Oxy 10 for him.
He didn't dare to buy it himself so I paid the money. He scared people call him ahgua. Why he so cute.

He also went to withdraw money. It was nearly time so we went up. Got a drink. Fanta Grape.

Waited for about 10 mins before the hall opened.

Baby was really quiet again while we were waiting for the movie to start. I applied the cream for him and started to tell him about how he can't apply so much or his skin will peel. I know I nag alot though/

Trailers started to play.

Divergence. Considering to watch.

Project Hashima. Definately watching

Reborn. Looks shitty

Into the dark. New trailer. Probably not watching. Looks shitty as well.

Movie started. It was really funny in the beginning.

Somewhere in the middle, Percy said he can't meet as he was going to the hospital to do a blood test.

The ending was just draggy.

-----------------------------------


Since Percy was not meeting us anymore, we decided to go for dinner even though it was only 4pm.

We had saizeriya's again. Salmon for me. Black pepper chicken with pork for him.
The food was yummy as usual.

We finished our very early dinner with a lot of free time. Decided to go orchard central to window shop.

Decided to share cold stone.

Oreo overload.
Sweet and refreshing. Baby shared with me about his army buddies and friends.

Went to walk around after that. Percy sent me a picture of his hand with a tube in it.

Called him and he said its appendicitis. He needs surgery. I was concerned. Baby seemed indifferent. He probably is too. After all, those two seems really close. Went to walk around. The only shop that we stepped in to walk one round was Dr Martens. Baby should be buying next month.

Had nothing to do so we went to nex.

And went home shortly after.



Today was different. We did a lot of walking. It was productive.


Lets make it even more productive by completing my last pattern.

When will you guys finally notice,

I dont want to be here.

Untitled

看今夜的流星，划过了天际，笑我的心，我无法再冷静，请你要倾听，你是我的唯一，我不愿去相信，我们之间隔着海洋的距离，我的爱已融化在空气里。

I would give up anything to take away your pain

without a doubt

"When you are going to kill yourself, the last thing on your mind is getting a refund."

I just want you to be happy.

When you're happy, so am I.

But when you're sad, the pain hits me, double.

Twice as painful.

Ahem ahem.

Pandora's box

What if things could have been different, like, the one you have liked is me.

Would we have that happily ever after?

"When Pandora opened the box, she saw all the evil in the world, sickness, disease, sadness, despair.

Hoever there was one good thing in the box, and that was hope."

I'm not sure if i can even hope for a tomorrow anymore.

Im not even sure if I want to pull through to another day.

I'm sure I don't wanna forget you, or how I feel about you.

I don't wanna forget you,

It would have been easier for me to die.

But I told myself for your sake, i will make sure im ok, for your sake, I will stay alive.

最后的疼爱是手放开

September

Is it stupid that I still remember where it all begun?

Bugis macdonalds.

Just last friday, we were sitting at that exact same spot. I dont think he remembered.

Joasseph, Alwyn, Jeremy, Issac, Jean and I.

All the things I still remember,

Summers never look the same.

Years goes by and time just seems to fly.

But the memories remain.

Its been 4 years..abit here and there. Some of us are in NS, some attached, all changed.

But memories linger, too close for comfort. 4 years..seriously, how time flies.

In the middle of September,

We still played out in the rain.

Nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Reflecting now on how things could have been,

It was worth it in the end...

I remember, every sunday or nearly, me, jeremy or sometimes shaun, will wander around suntec or orchard. Just wandering about, wanting to escape from home.

Eating dinner at some fast food joint, sitting down somewhere to play psp, hts..going to some arcade to spam kof, going funan to play GE.

Or simply sitting down and talking about stuff that didnt really matter,

I miss those times, the freedom, when i didnt know so much...

Meeting early for breakfast..roti prata...macs breakfast.

Did you know it really made my day to see you first thing in the morning?

And then that day, when i was changing my guitar strings, you suddenly played, Change the world.

Is it stupid them im listening to all the songs that i used to hear last time, hoping somehow time would back?

My will..change the world..grip..all the inuyasha songs.

I loved to hear you play change the world.

We even used to stay out during F1. Marina square's swensons, topless 5!

Manga oasis.

Funan..

Suntec..

Plaza sing..the dark arcade last time.

Fk i miss you.

I miss those times.

Different

I can never stop asking myself, asking God, why do you have to do this?
Making me fall in love with a guy that i can never be with,
I love you and i cant deny it, This fucking sucks.

Im sorry. So so sorry for that night. That one night, one word; mistake.
Its a mistake i would never regret though.

Same for you.

I can only wish happiness for you, to see you happy is the greatest joy for me.

I could never understand that phrase previously but now I do.


I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but baby theres a name for what you put me through.
It isnt love its robbery,
Im sleeping with the ghost of you and me.



Goodbye, my love.

Afraid

I have never been more afraid to make a wrong move,

A mistake, something i might regret to take away my reason. I want to keep my promise you know?

This wonderful fantasy, a too good to be true dream, I don't want it to end.

I don't want to wake up.

Be it 4 days, 4 months or 4 years and still counting...

I will wait.

那个人，他也随着风，走了

Better late then never

This chapter is closed, never to open again.

Memories..everywhere.

Am i supposed to stare at the close door and say, come back?

I won't. Not this time.

Save you

Take a breath, I pull myself together
Just another step until I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear you voice it's drowning in whispers
It's just skin and bones, it's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If I only I could find the answer to help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up 'cause I'll be waiting
If you fall you know I'll be there for you

If only I could find the answer to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

I wish I could save you, I want you to know
I wish I could save you

Its not enough

Double eyelids when I woke up this morning.

It was all worth it guys.

Meals comp meals psp meals card games meals sleep.

With a snap, I'm reminded of reality. Things I have to do, things I have to face.

Things I don't want to face.

2011 started off badly. But the pizza and blackjack was definately fun.

I was really happy. But then there is o level results, that pressure to get a job...

money...and...

2010 is over,

Fuck my life yet again.

Why does it ALWAYS fucking happen to me?

Both parties wouldnt make my life any easier.

At this rate im going to have a mental breakdown,

Any fucking time soon.

Havent had those long for almost an hour talks. In a long long time.

Had ramen yesterday and a crazy amount of guo tie.

Played around with dear otw to far east.

Havent smiled and felt so tired in a long long time.

=)

I want to try porcini fettucine.