without a doubt

"When you are going to kill yourself, the last thing on your mind is getting a refund."

I just want you to be happy.

When you're happy, so am I.

But when you're sad, the pain hits me, double.

Twice as painful.

Ahem ahem.

Pandora's box

What if things could have been different, like, the one you have liked is me.

Would we have that happily ever after?

"When Pandora opened the box, she saw all the evil in the world, sickness, disease, sadness, despair.

Hoever there was one good thing in the box, and that was hope."

I'm not sure if i can even hope for a tomorrow anymore.

Im not even sure if I want to pull through to another day.

I'm sure I don't wanna forget you, or how I feel about you.

I don't wanna forget you,

It would have been easier for me to die.

But I told myself for your sake, i will make sure im ok, for your sake, I will stay alive.

最后的疼爱是手放开

September

Is it stupid that I still remember where it all begun?

Bugis macdonalds.

Just last friday, we were sitting at that exact same spot. I dont think he remembered.

Joasseph, Alwyn, Jeremy, Issac, Jean and I.

All the things I still remember,

Summers never look the same.

Years goes by and time just seems to fly.

But the memories remain.

Its been 4 years..abit here and there. Some of us are in NS, some attached, all changed.

But memories linger, too close for comfort. 4 years..seriously, how time flies.

In the middle of September,

We still played out in the rain.

Nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Reflecting now on how things could have been,

It was worth it in the end...

I remember, every sunday or nearly, me, jeremy or sometimes shaun, will wander around suntec or orchard. Just wandering about, wanting to escape from home.

Eating dinner at some fast food joint, sitting down somewhere to play psp, hts..going to some arcade to spam kof, going funan to play GE.

Or simply sitting down and talking about stuff that didnt really matter,

I miss those times, the freedom, when i didnt know so much...

Meeting early for breakfast..roti prata...macs breakfast.

Did you know it really made my day to see you first thing in the morning?

And then that day, when i was changing my guitar strings, you suddenly played, Change the world.

Is it stupid them im listening to all the songs that i used to hear last time, hoping somehow time would back?

My will..change the world..grip..all the inuyasha songs.

I loved to hear you play change the world.

We even used to stay out during F1. Marina square's swensons, topless 5!

Manga oasis.

Funan..

Suntec..

Plaza sing..the dark arcade last time.

Fk i miss you.

I miss those times.

Different

I can never stop asking myself, asking God, why do you have to do this?
Making me fall in love with a guy that i can never be with,
I love you and i cant deny it, This fucking sucks.

Im sorry. So so sorry for that night. That one night, one word; mistake.
Its a mistake i would never regret though.

Same for you.

I can only wish happiness for you, to see you happy is the greatest joy for me.

I could never understand that phrase previously but now I do.


I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but baby theres a name for what you put me through.
It isnt love its robbery,
Im sleeping with the ghost of you and me.



Goodbye, my love.

Afraid

I have never been more afraid to make a wrong move,

A mistake, something i might regret to take away my reason. I want to keep my promise you know?

This wonderful fantasy, a too good to be true dream, I don't want it to end.

I don't want to wake up.

Be it 4 days, 4 months or 4 years and still counting...

I will wait.

那个人，他也随着风，走了

Better late then never

This chapter is closed, never to open again.

Memories..everywhere.

Am i supposed to stare at the close door and say, come back?

I won't. Not this time.

Save you

Take a breath, I pull myself together
Just another step until I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear you voice it's drowning in whispers
It's just skin and bones, it's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If I only I could find the answer to help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up 'cause I'll be waiting
If you fall you know I'll be there for you

If only I could find the answer to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

I wish I could save you, I want you to know
I wish I could save you

Its not enough

Double eyelids when I woke up this morning.

It was all worth it guys.

Meals comp meals psp meals card games meals sleep.

With a snap, I'm reminded of reality. Things I have to do, things I have to face.

Things I don't want to face.

2011 started off badly. But the pizza and blackjack was definately fun.

I was really happy. But then there is o level results, that pressure to get a job...

money...and...

2010 is over,

Fuck my life yet again.

Why does it ALWAYS fucking happen to me?

Both parties wouldnt make my life any easier.

At this rate im going to have a mental breakdown,

Any fucking time soon.

Havent had those long for almost an hour talks. In a long long time.

Had ramen yesterday and a crazy amount of guo tie.

Played around with dear otw to far east.

Havent smiled and felt so tired in a long long time.

=)

I want to try porcini fettucine.

I dont want to be here anymore.

I beg of you,









take me away.

"Why can't you be like other people's kids?"

You want me to smoke? Drink? Take drugs?

"One day, you're going to get TB at the rate you're going, sleeping so late."

1 is late? Sometimes, I really want to show you how much worse I can get.

"You didnt use to be like that you know, why now you so rebellious?"

Sometimes, i really wanna take drugs, drink or smoke, Just to show you,

How much worse can i get.

I cant take it.

I dont like it, I said it out.

And so?

What was the point of that?

Night of the living dead

Kiseki is <3

Finally remembered why its such an awesome song.

I wish it doesnt hurt so bad

I will always remember you guys man.

Awesome idiocy and just being completely RANDOM.

I go my kitchen and cry!

Ahem ahem~

Finally guessed it right huh? So spot on! So xia lan =)

And iz, WRINKLES =D

And to you, I'm sorry, i wish it didnt have to hurt so badly.

As i have said already, it was at the wrong place.

At the wrong time.

A fleeting dream...

As sudden as it has came, it has drifted away.

Whenever I think of you, I'm filled with guilt.

I don't know what to say.

When I gained something...

I lose another.

I guess its called, "You can't have everything."

I know it's only a dream...

I need to wake up

What would be the outcome of this cycle?

No matter what, I don't regret anything.
Except if given a chance, I would choose to never have meet you.
It would be better anyway, for the two of us

i'm sorry

I got the message that you sent,

I know that this is what you meant.

Maybe someday I will see you again,

And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend...

Haha...

Impossible.

Today was confusing

Sent my cousin and uncle off today.

Was sad and happy at the same time. I have my (normal)life back.

Maybe im not that sad cos I know its temporary.

Is it because I know the pain of losing someone permanantly?

Which brings me to that confusing train of thought.

Which is getting me nowhere.